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July 27, 2008
a while ago i wrote this blog called “carry each other’s burdens” and lots of people were pumped.
where’s the zeal?
where did all that passion go?
i’ve had some time to fall on my face and then dust myself off and try again. with thanks to a few particular friends, i’ve kept my sanity and kept from becoming prodigal.
but this is not what this blog is about. this blog is about wasting time. i’m done with it. this isn’t emotion driven and it’s not like i wrote this after a really good message. i haven’t gone to church yet today (i’m going tonight, don’t you worry) and this is entirely derived from reading the Bible.
THIS IS URGENT. Soon, summer will be over and most of you will go back to school, back to seeing hundreds or thousands of faces every single day. That’s hundreds or thousands of souls that are most likely living a life without the hope of Christ, without His love.
Salvation is acknowledging the love and grace of Christ, being a Christian is the willingness and anticipation to share that love and grace with the rest of this hopeless world.
Let’s get up and do something. Even as I sit here, there are better things I could be doing for the cause of Christ. Listen, underneath everything that Christ ever did- the reason for His birth, His life, His death and His life part two; His cause- was this: LOVE. A relentless, ceaseless, unmerited, unconditional, RADICAL love. A love that has been freely given to us, and a love that we ought to freely give.
In 1 Corinthians 13 it basically says that you could wonderful things for the world, you could give endless amounts of charity but if you have not love, you have done nothing. NOTHING AT ALL.
Doesn’t that indicate some sort of ridiculous importance for the attribute of love? I definitely think so. I challenge you this:
Love people who yell at you. Love people who make it their mission to make you stumble. Love the people who are ill-natured in the most basic way. Love the murderers, the rapists, the Hitler’s, the Bin Laden’s, the Hussein’s, the Charles Manson’s like Jesus does. I’m trying. I’ll tell you that it’s no fun but once you learn to have that love (not that i have already attained this, but i do strive) everything kind of makes more sense. It’s not easier to hold your tongue, but it makes more sense to you to hold it. It doesn’t make it easier to keep your temper, but it makes more sense to you to keep it.
Blah.
I’m off-topic, or maybe the topic is off-base.
Basically, what I’m saying is to love your neighbor as yourself. That IS the entire law summed up in one command, so it’s probably pretty important.
sorry if this doesn’t make sense.
i think i needed it more than any of you will.
Filed by nannette at July 27th, 2008 under inspirational
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balance, i think, is a more socially acceptable form of diluted morality.
see, when you’re balanced, in the literal sense, you don’t have too much of anything.
you’re not too hot, and not too cold.
not too conservative and not too liberal.
you’re just in the middle so you don’t offend anyone, not even yourself.
at this time in my life, people keep telling me i need balance.
no, balance and stability are not the same thing.
balance is lame, it will get you nowhere fast.
stability is what i think they mean, some sort of due course that my peers are traveling on.
but aren’t i supposed to be different?
aren’t i supposed to stand out in order to be outstanding?
i’m not going to be balanced. i’m making the decision, right now as i write this, that i will be entirely passionate in whichever stand i chose.
passion and zeal are the very core of my personality.
i cannot be bland.
i cannot be average.
i cannot be mediocre.
stability is something i admire but am not sure i can acquire.
not yet at least.
i live for inconsistencies and spontaneity.
stability isn’t my scene, but i think it should be.
it would be easy to blame my parents.
but if anyone can tell you, it’s me, that your parents do not dictate who you become.
and believe you me that i’m not blaming them, but i don’t know what stability would look like if it slapped me in the face on a daily basis for the rest of my life.
stability to me feels like a trap.
stability sounds like “commitment.”
commitment sounds like “you cannot change your mind.”
that is scary.
i spent so long being a child who grew up too fast, and now i’m a child who is clinging to the tiniest bit of childhood i can still grasp.
i need to stop.
i need to uproot.
i need to grow up.
now, where do i begin?
Filed by nannette at July 27th, 2008 under in the mind of nannette...
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June 20, 2008
I didn’t get a chance to type a blog last week because I had no computer access for most of the week.
VBS was stellar. Children make me laugh. One of the kids in my group gave his life to Jesus. It was precious. When I told him that he could talk with Jesus whenever he so desired, he was sincerely excited. He asked me why? That question plays in later.
I went to camp. We left Sunday. I left with a lot of resentment towards my father for not allowing Natalie to come, and half-expecting to not be touched because of that resentment. I was sure that I’d never talk to my dad again, seeing as he had grounded Natalie from talking to me and said that I was a terrible influence upon her because I told her she should ask if she could go to camp.
But I was wrong, I was touched.
Chapel Number One: Expectancy.
He asked us to write down what we expected and hoped for God to do during camp. I wrote:
I want God to create an insatiable hunger in me. I want to believe what the Word says about me. I want to feel beautiful.
Chapel Number Two: Intimacy.
He said that worship creates the atmosphere in which God moves and that the posture of your heart, attitude and life creates the atmosphere for worship.
So, the posture of your heart allows for the atmosphere for worship and the atmosphere of worship allows for God to move.
Oh, and Megan O’Connell went to the hospital.
Chapel Number Three: Identity.
You need to know who you are in Christ in order to do what you’re purposed to do in Christ’s kingdom.
This was the night that resentment was released, fathers were forgiven and we learned to accept the redemption that was offered to us the day that the Lamb displayed the greatest love that anyone could ever know. It was an awesome night.
Oh, and Richie Lopez went to the hospital.
Chapel Number Four: Word of God
The strength of your voice is not found in the words you use or the knowledge you have, but in the life you live.
God shut me up this night. He told me to stop singing the words and to just talk to Him. “Where have all my friends gone?” (Sean said it the first day, Sophie said it also and it had been ringing in my heart for a while now) I accomplished a friendship with Jesus that night. The words that I was praying, shouting, were entirely not from my own mind.
We do not know what we ought to pray so the Spirit intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.
I prayed for a fire that cannot be put out. I prayed for a hunger that could not be satisfied. I prayed for a thirst that could not be quenched. I prayed a spirit of yearning over every person in the room, and I think God might have granted my prayer.
To say the least, my eyes were opened that night.
No tears, no swollen eyes, no intense emotional sensation. Just God and I getting rugged.
The enemy’s been defeated. Death couldn’t hold You down. Gonna lift our voice in victory, gonna make your praises loud.
Oh, and Megan O’Connell went to the hospital again.
Richie was healed of diabetes that night through intense prayer.
It was a good night.
Now, I’m spending the night at Patrice’s home-opener’s house 
I’m sincerely tired, so good night.
Filed by nannette at June 20th, 2008 under Life-changing
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June 9, 2008
disciple by day and cashier by night.
improbable? perhaps.
impossible? maybe.
will i try anyway? why not?
i’m doing summer master and working at taco bell by night.
i’ll be tired. but it’s definitely worth the spiritual growth i’ll experience.
i’ve got a lot on my mind but i don’t like to sit in front of this white screen for too long.
i feel my senses dulling every second that i do.
i feel like some coffee but i need to spend any more money for the rest of my life. except on bills. and occasional food.
Filed by nannette at June 9th, 2008 under in the mind of nannette...
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April 5, 2008
so, today was the state competition for tbq, and thank God we’re all going to regionals in colorado! now, if you remember my prom drama, you will get a kick out of this: prom and regionals are on the same day. God is insane so, we’re going to regionals, but now keith davis wants to go to prom and it’s on the same day as regionals but i might try to go to cactus shadow’s prom or something. we’ll see. but God is insane. i couldn’t get a date and it was taking it’s toll on my self esteem, but God works out all things for the good of those who love Him. which would be me.
Filed by nannette at April 5th, 2008 under Uncategorized
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April 4, 2008
is a giant jerk.
bahhh.
two people i was gonna ask got asked by people before me.
:[
man, i’m kinda depressed.
whatever.
i don’t wanna dwell on this. but it’s definitely residually in my thoughts.
blah.
i don’t know if i’ll go.
dan just asked me just like “since you have no one to go with, i’ll go with you”
which is nice and all but it’s like: hey, i pity you.
i know he doesn’t mean it like that but that’s how my mind interpreted it.
blah.
i’m so looking forward to paiute.
maybe my girlies will cheer me up 
they haven’t even fathomed prom yet.
Filed by nannette at April 4th, 2008 under in the mind of nannette...
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March 24, 2008
we came back to school today and she assigned our final philosophy project.
that’s weird.
i’m almost done with high school. what the heck?
wow. big thought.
love,
nannette.
post script:
i’m moving out this weekend and i still have not told my dad.
if i tell him, he might not let natalie go to church. what should i do?
Filed by nannette at March 24th, 2008 under in the mind of nannette..., Uncategorized
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March 2, 2008
CAN YOU FIND THE BOOKS OF THE BIBLE?
I once made a remark about the hidden books of the Bible. It was a lulu. Kept people looking so hard for facts and for others it was a revelation. Some were in a jam, especially since the name of the books were not capitalized, but the truth finally struck home to numbers of the readers. To others it was a real job. We want it to be a most fascinating few moments for you. Yes there will be some really easy ones to spot. Others may require judges to help them. I will quickly admit that it usually takes a minister to find one of them and there will be loud lamentations when it is found. A little lady says she brews a cup of tea so she can concentrate better. See how well you can compete. Relax now, for there really are sixteen names of books in this Bible story.
One preacher found 15 books in 20 minutes, but it took him 3 weeks to find the 16th book. GOOD LUCK!
Filed by nannette at March 2nd, 2008 under random/quotes/strange thoughts
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February 15, 2008
The first thing that people say to me after they hear that i’m moving out on my birthday is:
“What about Natalie?”
I get a tad frustrated with this question. Actually, really frustrated. What would you propose I did instead?
Live in a house that I can honestly say I hate for another two years and then move out with her? Or break about a million laws and take her with me? Or, perhaps, I can just all of a sudden become best friends with my dad and not be crawling inside my skin to leave this trailer?
Now, this may seem harsh, but I know that you guys don’t mean any harm in asking. It’s just upsetting because people want me to put my life on hold and shelter the crap out of Natalie, and it isn’t what I’m going to do. Natalie needs to learn how to fend for her own with Dad, just like I did.
Of course, Natalie and I will keep in touch. A lot. She’s like my best friend. We’ll text and see each other very often. But I will not stay here and protect her from something that she needs to face at one time or another.
As long as I’m here I can’t do anything. Dad is hell-bent on making life difficult for me and I HATE it here. Work is… shady around where I live. And where I would live (near my school) it’s flourishing. The hours I could work if I stood here wouldn’t provide with much. 6 pm- 10 pm monday, thursday and friday. all day saturday. Can’t work tuesday, wednesday, sunday because I’m not on this side of the valley until real late.
I need out. Or, I need a car and to start getting along with my dad. Both of which seem highly unlikely.
But life is good, I’m not like depressed or anything.
I just had that kind of bugging me.
Love,
Nannette.
OHH
By the way, someone e-mailed me back and told me that she had just about given up when she found my note. She said it stopped her from doing something “stupid and irreversible’ and gave her hope. It definitely made my day.
<3
Filed by nannette at February 15th, 2008 under in the mind of nannette...
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February 8, 2008
i REALLY want the fuge to go valley-wide but brandon says we’re not ready yet :[
i want to advertise for it so bad. he says we need to switch to magazine paper first, but we need money for that and right now we’re saving for cs3. how are we going to get money for that and magazine paper without charging for the magazine?
i really, really, really want to advertise for this.
and the “i” key on my keyboard is semi-freaking out.
i have to press extra hard on it.
love you guys;
nannette
Filed by nannette at February 8th, 2008 under Uncategorized
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